Katy’s List of Things – Bond

I love Bond films. I’ve loved them since I was a little girl. I love them regardless of who the actor is, regardless of who the villain is, and regardless of what the story is. I love them. Period.

At first this was going to be a list of the three things I love most about Bond films. However, having just returned from watching Spectre, I think it is probably more important that I cover why I shouldn’t like Bond films, because I loved Spectre, and I have absolutely no idea why. (Although Daniel Craig is quite pretty…but that isn’t it.)

Three reasons I shouldn’t like Bond films.

Excessive Violence. I love action, but I hate gory torture scenes. I actively avoid certain film directors (*cough Tarantino), because their films are filled with disgusting scenes that have no reason other than initiating a gag reflex in people or encouraging idiots with no imagination to experiment. But in Bond films, I actively embrace these scenes. And truthfully, in Spectre, the single torture scene seemed light. Hurt my Bond. Hurt him. It makes him angrier. Angry Bond is an excellent Bond.

Lack of a Discernable Plot. I’m a mystery fan. I love a great set of clues and twists and turns I can’t predict. I enjoy discovering along with the main characters and being surprised when the culprit is revealed. But in Bond films I’m almost always completely confused as to what’s going on. I never understand what clues lead Bond to each new fabulous locale. I have no idea why or how the main baddie always seems to have unlimited resources (elaborate sprinkler engineering in an arid desert) and a perpetual stream of minions. But, when it comes to Bond, I don’t care. I love that Bond is searching for something. I don’t much care how he finds it. Whatever, I’m in. Blindly. (Additional Note: In Spectre with each new locale my first thought was “Mmmm, nice clothes” and I’m not into fashion. Do you see why I’m confused?)

Idiot Women. I love smart, strong female characters that do and say what they think, independently of the corresponding male character (or in spite of them). AND YET I don’t give a flying fig what the women are about in Bond films. I embrace their decoration status and understand completely that they will be in peril at some point. So, it was a delightful surprise to find out that the main female character in Spectre did not end up dead…but no spoilers for those who haven’t seen it.

So, bottom line, I have no idea why I love the Bond films so unconditionally, but I do and I embrace that about myself. “For it is better to love oneself completely than hate because of a single flaw.” – Said by me, to the mirror in my bathroom.

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